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The Sock Monster (and other totally existent creatures)

We all know about the monster in the dryer that only eats one sock…

But my house is beginning to feel like a Dr. Suess book. A monster around every corner stealing a specific item just for kicks.

“All those Nupboards in the Cupboards they’re good fun to have about. But that Nooth gush on my tooth brush…..Him I could do without.”
― Dr. Seuss, There’s a Wocket in My Pocket!

Buy a pack of rubber bands… gone within a week. Do you ever see them again? No. Of course not, something around here eats them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Chapstick! I have never ever gotten to the end of a chapstick… for all I know there is a prize at the bottom. A ridiculously tiny trophy for making it through without losing it. That’s what I’d do if I made chapstick! No one would ever know either. Because purses eat chapstick.

Nail polish, moves. It moves all over the house. There is obviously a very girly (or cross-dressing*) little fiend running around that enjoys painting her (his*) nails.

Keys, wallets, and the nessicities. These are a given. Keys disappear daily around here. They end up on the mantle, in the fridge, in the bread box, on top of the cabinets… You name it, the keys have moved dust around there.

There also must be some kind of little creature that just cannot keep it’s hands off my t-shirts… but in all fairness that’s just my sister, Breelin.

The point is, that I sure ain’t taking the blame for all of my things that magically vanish. My house is a portal for all the little clepto monsters of the world.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Happy reading, Kiersten

* Added mostly for hilarity, and in order to poke a little fun at the political correctness of the world today.

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