Category Archives: Movies and TV

Think Before You Ink (And a little good news)

You may all breathe a sigh of relief… or at least you can laugh while I do.

Robert Pattinson will not be making an appearance in the (it’s-gonna-take-forever-to-come-out) much anticipated Hunger Games sequel (as reported by US Weekly).

That would have been awful. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy Twilight (you either just cringed, shook your head, smiled, or begand asking yourself ‘why am I reading this’?). But that last thing the world needs is Robert in another teen sensation movie… I’m just getting over hearing his name every two minutes.

If I had to see his face on any more tshirts… or worse, body parts I’d have to scream and fall into a Bella-esque hermit depression for a few months.

Sadly, your eyes do not deceive you. This really is some lady’s leg. Click on the photo to go to the website and see more laughably awful Twi-hard tattoos.

The Hunger Games tattoo fad has already begun (see below), the last thing we need is more of Robert Pattinson’s face everywhere. He is not even that cute! Come on people!

Rest assured that when the books fall apart, the sales cease, the paparazzi scatter and the actors get old, there will always be a few people crazy enough to immortalize a teen fad onto their skin for all time… or at least until they start sagging and forget what the blob is.

OTHER AWFUL FAD TATTOOS (That people will surely eventually regret, or who’s kids will cringe when going out in public with their ‘mature adult’ parents.) :

Harry Potter. The best part is, she can totally hide it with a turtle neck or Rapunzel length hair!

Even though I adored The Avengers movie (I saw it twice the day it came out!), I believe that these guys were doing fine without having them permanently etched onto my skin.

Yes. That is Justin Bieber. In all his 12 year old glory.
Tell me she won’t regret that in 10 years, when people are laughing at the song “Baby” and she remembers his face will never leave her side.

“And she’ll be like baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
Your face will always be mine… mineee!”

Sorry, couldn’t help it.

Don’t get me wrong. I do understand that some tattoos have a lot of meaning. I do get that they do not all come with a pop culture expiration date of doom… But some do…

For the love all that is good and holy, THINK BEFORE YOU INK kids…

…or some body part of yours may end up forever on the internet, being laughed at…

The end. 

Advertisements

If only The Hunger Games were real… and other unlikely scenarios that would benefit my health.

If The Hunger Games were real: 

1. I’d be in shape! Fearing a fight to the death every year would probably keep me in shape.

2. There wouldn’t be enough food to let me get fat anyways. haha. Seriously though, all the people are like starving in the book. While it does make me extremely grateful (I’d pass on the squirrel stew for now) … I also know that none of them are fat…

3.  I’d be so in love with the Baker’s son… (who’s name is Peeta, like Pita, like bread… seriously?)

If  The Princess Diaries were real:

1. I’d stay in shape on the off chance I actually was a princess just waiting to be discovered.

2. My hair wouldn’t look anything like Mia’s pre-makeover look. Are you kidding me?!

3. I wouldn’t let my friend call her basic cable local TV show “Lily Tells it like it is”.

If  Gone with the Wind was real:

1. I could make designer duds out of curtains.

2. I would talk with extra syllables and an extra dose of whine at all times.

3.  I wouldn’t have to worry about getting fat because those corsets wouldn’t let you eat anything anyways.

If Twilight were real:

1. I could just become a super model by becoming vampire: Worth it.

2. I’d have to drink blood, even if it’s from animals… and that’s kinda gross. (Okay, really gross)


Lesson learned today: In a perfect world there would be major motivation to workout (fights to the death), McDonald’s wouldn’t be on every corner, we’d be happy when we got food and understand the blessing it is (ooh, got heavy right there), and I would be able to make clothes out of curtains.

The real issue here:

The Mummy: Life Saving Life Lessons

Image

The Mummy has to be an all time favorite movie of mine. Breelin can attest to the fact that I pathetically probably have it memorized… and who wouldn’t? Evie’s British accent is just too fun not to copy. Seriously.

Even with dated graphics, and some awful CG, The Mummy is great. Brenden Fraiser is awesome. Evie is totally my hero. Librarian book nerd in search of treasure, adventure, and knowledge makes her way to a non existant city in Egypt… haunted by the most evil man to ever live… and then what? She brings him back to life! How’s he thank her? Two words, human sacrifice.

I believe one of few things most people would agree on: being sacrificed to bring a 3000 year old lady’s corpse back to life doesn’t sound all that fun. Luckily she’s got O’Connell… and a drunk brother with sheer dumb luck.

So… without any further ado I bring you Life Saving Life Lessons straight from Hollywood Egypt itself! (Con commentary by yours truly).

1. Ladders and Libraries do not mix.

2. If they have to mix, might I suggest not setting up your giant book shelves like a huge game of dominoes…

3. When you don’t heed my warning, and they do mix… run.

4. Ancient mummy coffins, great place to scare people.

5. Don’t let a guy on death row kiss you, instant love.

6. Americans are apparently all from the “wild west” and therefore all know how to shoot a gun while drunk and playing cards.

7. Don’t trade your sister for the camels (which apparently run faster than horses? Who knew?)

8. When you do find an ancient (gooey) mummy, don’t open the case.

9. When you open the case anyways, don’t read from the evil haunted book of death.

10. When you do that anyways (you suck at listening), run away.

11. When the evil now walking rotting corpse of doom follows you to Cairo and you discover he’s afraid of cats… become a freaking cat lady! Stat!

12. When you still don’t listen (I mean how hard is it to hold on to a kitten for a few days?), pray… but never lose your sense of humor or sarcastic wit. YOLO, right?

BONUS: Apparently you don’t OLO, because this mummy comes to life again in the sequel and dies like 5 times.

Yes, the lessons you learn from The Mummy are indeed valuable, possibly life saving. A copy of this movie should be in every “Welcome to Egypt” packet.

Okay, go watch The Mummy, enjoy it as much as I do (every single time I watch it).

Love, Kiersten

PS. I hope you listen better than the people in movies, who never listen to me no matter how loud I yell at them. Oh well, their loss.

Love Me Some Gilmore Girls

I probably watch way too much TV… and honestly I don’t even watch that much. Mondays are the days all my shows come on. Castle, Pretty Little Liars, and The Bachelor. But, there’s something about the twisting plots, crazy relationships, suspense, and secrets that I cannot seem to avoid. I get so wrapped up. Then I just have to know what will happen next week!

Will they finally kiss? Will she get murdered? Is he the killer?

Because of my love of television I decided  I would do a post on one of my favorite shows… GILMORE GIRLS!

When I think mother daughter duo, I cannot help but think of the Gilmore Girls. The show was witty and fun! Lorelei and Rory have a pretty much unmatched chemistry.

I would love to get my hands on the complete series, but I cannot quite make myself shell out 200 dollars for it. Go figure.

Anywaysssssssss….

Enjoy some free smiles and giggles on me this very happy friday!

Love, Kiersten

Funny Gilmore Girls Clips

PS Both videos I tried didn’t want me to embed them, so please go ahead and click the link and watch the video clips… They’re worth it!

Lessons from Tangled

So, today, I had the pleasure of watching Tangled… (The amount of times I have seen this movie is pretty pathetic… But I just love it) I figured everyone could learn a few valuable lessons from this movie. I’m here to share those with you.

If you have never seen it (which is illegal, and you need to be hit in the head with a frying pan!)… as of today it is still on Netflix! 🙂

Okay, go watch a cute disney movie now!

Love, Kiersten

Musical Life Lessons

Lesson Learned: Here are the things some of my favorite musicals have taught me. This is some hardhitting life advice here, so pay attention and take notes.

 

Annie:

  •  If you’re ever an orphan, be a ginger.
  • Your never fully dressed with out a smile.
  • Rich people have ALOT of servants, and they all know how to dance.
  • Dogs you find on the street are the best! They come already trained, and are smarter than your average highschooler.

Grease:

  • Your Australian summer love may somehow end up at your school, don’t give up hope.
  • Sexy hair is what life is all about.
  •  High school is all about being who you aren’t to end up with the cute guy and flying car.

Oklahoma:

  • Maybe all those people whispering were right, you really are meant for eachother.
  • Don’t make the creep that lives in your shed mad… he has anger issues, and a gun.
  • On that note: Don’t go to the dance with said creep… he buys scary killer toys from the street salesman.
  • The street salesman’s love potion just gives you indegestion and scary ballet dreams.
  • Murder trials always go better when held in your kitchen.

Wizard of Oz:

  • People without brains and hearts still talk a lot.
  • If you stumble upon a community of Little People, they are apparently trustworthy.
  • Every girl should have a pair of red high heels.

Sound of Music:

  • The cute mail boy is with the Nazis.
  • You cannot hide from your problems in the convent… you have to sneak across the boarder.
  • Your favorite things, really do make you feel better.

My Fair Lady:

  • The rain in Spain apparently falls mainly on the plains.
  • With a fake accent and knock-out dress, you can get a cute rich stalker at the ball.

 

Yes, admittedly, I am  a musical nerd. Love musicals! Maybe, I’ll go watch White Christmas.

Love, Kiersten

Battle of the Snow Whites

I thought I would give you some of the latest headlines, if you hadn’t already seen them, and of course my commentary. Here is what I thought was interesting enough to be  In the News this week.

  • Michelle Duggar Miscarries ( http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20552173,00.html ) My heart just aches for the Duggar family, but I also hope that they stop getting pregnant! I think after 19 kids, her body is done… and I cannot exactly blame it.
  • Colonel Potter Dies at 96 Most well known to me as Colonel Potter, actor Harry Morgan died at 96 years old. I don’t have much to say, other than, I’m sure he’ll be missed… I hope I am blessed with such a long life.
  • Pujols heads to the Angels If you watched the 2011 World Series, and you live in Texas… You both hated and respected Pujols, who played amazingly helping bring a win to the Cardinals, and defeating the Rangers in the final game. The whole series was killing me, back and forth the whole time. To say it was entertaining would be an understatement. I lost a little respect for him, hoping he would stay loyal to his team, as opposed to a fat paycheck… but I’m not a crazy baseball nut… so, moving on…

Upcoming Movies

I love love love the first one. Seriously, my family must have seen every version of Sherlock Holmes EVER. This one gets props for not only having a Sherlock without a combover, but the way they approach his whole way of thinking  is refreshing and addicting. I love Robert Downey Jr. in this part, and can’t wait for the sequel, which actually looks promising.

(If you like Sherlock Holmes, and have Netflix go watch: Sherlock (a BBC TV production), you really won’t regret it!)

To thouroughly confuse me in the movie theatre, there are two upcoming Snow White retellings… I first I thought these were just two trailers with very little sense of cohesion… But then I realized they were two completely different movies.

I actually really enjoy fairytales, and retellings, so I want to see both. They were obviously aimed for two different audiences… The dark gritty version that Kristen Stewart is the leading lady in, and the bright magical fluff family version that Julia Roberts is in. Honestly, I’d like to see both, just to compare. But I wonder how having TWO Snow White movies coming out around the same time will effect ticket sales? I predict the Twi-hards buying tickets for the Huntsmen, and the family crowd will flock to Mirror, Mirror.

Time will tell.

 Until next time my lovelies, Kiersten